(The Epoch Times)—In the world of electric vehicles, where the allure of green technology meets the practicality of everyday life, there are those who embrace the electric revolution with a unique flair.
Enter the unapologetic connoisseur of contradictions, the embodiment of the unexpected, the aficionado of electric eccentricities, and a character worthy of exploration.
Here are 18 reasons why you really need an electric car:
1. You’re a Tolstoy enthusiast who’s never quite conquered the monumental War and Peace. Fear not, for that long charging queue becomes your literary sanctuary where you can immerse yourself in 1,225 pages of Russian opulence while your electric steed gains its much-needed energy boost.
2. Fine dining at Chiswick, Margaret, and Quay is a given, but have you truly lived until you’ve sampled the delights of the local servo? Post-War and Peace, dive into the exquisite world of slurpees, gristly meat pies, and try-hard coffee at the gas station. Breakfast and lunch might just be a charging queue away. YOLO.
3. Forget Bill Gates and his private jets; your guilty pleasure is the toasty warmth of a winterized garage. Electric cars, much like their owners, detest the cold. Embrace the synergy by parking your electric chariot in a heated garage—a warm welcome indeed.
4. Having dabbled in the vaccine, insect, and windfarm markets, your financial portfolio is diverse, and now you’re eyeing a substantial tax break. The depreciation of your EV will outpace its traditional counterparts so why not amass a fleet to elegantly trim that hefty annual tax bill?
5. Hitchhiking adventures or solitary contemplation on a deserted country road, anyone? Electric cars need to charge frequently. So if you’re going on a long journey, there’s a chance you may not make it to the next EV charging station. This is where War and Peace also comes in handy.
6. Virtue signaling ascends to new heights as the Tesla logo joins forces with needles and any flag that isn’t your own country. The EV isn’t just a mode of transport; it’s your declaration of values to the world.
7. You have a longing for Victorian times and it’s not just the taxidermy and corsets. Children learned the value of money in those times. Maybe sending them down a coal mine wasn’t ideal but better than being stuck up a chimney and having someone light a fire. Child slave labor is alive and well today in Africa where children are used to mine cobalt by hand in order to produce the 60 pounds of cobalt needed for one EV battery.
8. Unveil your inner Victorian Goth with a penchant for blackouts, cold baths and for the truly avant-garde, cockroach milk. Electric cars may shine but the allure of darkness prevails in this world of renewables.
9. Coal mining is so pre-COVID. No, it’s lithium, cobalt, graphite, and aluminum all the way. A single EV battery needs 30 pounds of lithium, 60 pounds of cobalt, 130 pounds of graphite, and roughly 500 pounds of steel aluminum, manganese, plastic and other materials. Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy.
10. You’ve always wanted to live in a permanent Disneyland—believing that electric cars have zero emissions. California awaits.
11. Are you concerned about pollution emissions in first-world countries?
Just shift the burden to the third world where toxic substances required for EV batteries become an unavoidable reality.
12. Anything a diesel Mercedes C220 D can do your Tesla Model 3 can do better e.g. emit 11 to 28 percent more CO2 over the lifespan of the Mercedes.
13. You’re a great delegator and will happily delegate power regarding your movements to the government. Of course, they should be allowed to turn your car off at any time because SCIENCE.
14. Do you live in an inner city Teal electorate where electricity prices skyrocketing become inconsequential? Teal and Tesla go hand in hand. That $5,000 power bill is a small price to pay for coolness. And the seventh needle in your profile seals the deal for the ultimate in virtue signaling nonchalance.
15. MI5 dreams come true with a tracking device worthy of James Bond. And the cherry on top? Celebrating the gender and potential trans identity of 007 while cruising in your Tesla.
16. Do you have a soft spot for China? You can acknowledge their prowess in lithium processing 40 percent of the world’s raw lithium and dominating the market with an 80 percent share.
17. For you the intricacies of how the EV charges and the origin of coal-fired electricity remain a mystery. It’s battery-operated and that’s all that matters.
18. And then there are those with aerostatiophobia, an affliction not to be taken lightly. The genuine fear of gas stations, it seems is a reality. While it’s unfortunate to miss out on the gourmet treats these stations offer, the silver lining of a battery-operated car is the blissful avoidance of gas station visits altogether.
After all, who needs to confront their fears when the hum of an electric charge is music to your tax-saving ears?
Starting the Day With a Scripture-Inspired Roast Helps Center Your Thoughts on Eternal Truths Amid Temporal Pressures
The world can seem chaotic, especially right after we wake up. Many believers start their mornings reaching for something familiar — a hot cup of coffee — yet end up settling for mediocre brews that do little more than deliver a caffeine jolt. The daily grind of life, with its endless distractions, news cycles, and responsibilities, can leave even the most faithful feeling spiritually parched alongside their physical fatigue. What if your morning ritual could do more than wake you up? What if it could ground you in truth, nourish your body with exceptional quality, and quietly advance a kingdom purpose at the same time?
That’s the promise — and the reality — behind Promised Grounds Coffee. This Christian-founded company doesn’t just roast beans; it approaches every step as an act of worship and discipleship. By selecting only the top 10% of specialty-grade beans, ethically sourced from dedicated farmers in Central and South America, and small-batch roasting them with reverence in Austin, Texas, Promised Grounds delivers what many describe as the best coffee available — never burnt, never bland, but rich with origin stories and layered flavors that honor God’s creation.
From the vibrant Psalm 27 Roast (a light, bright medium option) to the bold yet peaceful 2 Timothy 1:7 Decaf, each bag carries a Scripture verse that turns your daily pour into a gentle reminder of faith. And through their Ounce Per Ounce Promise, every ounce of coffee you enjoy provides an equal ounce of clean water to families in need via partnership with Filter of Hope — literally brewing hope for body and soul, one cup at a time.
The challenge for today’s Christians runs deeper than finding a decent cup. In an age of convenience-driven consumerism, it’s easy to support companies that dilute values or remain silent on matters of faith. Many believers want their everyday choices — from what they drink to how they spend — to reflect discipleship rather than just convenience. Promised Grounds solves this by weaving Christian excellence into the entire process: beans nurtured with prayerful stewardship by farming families, roasted as an offering rather than a commodity, and packaged with Bible verses to encourage a mindset of gratitude and purpose from the first sip. Reviewers consistently praise the smooth, rich profiles — whether enjoyed black in a drip maker, iced on a warm day, or shared in fellowship — noting how the quality stands toe-to-toe with premium secular brands while delivering something far more meaningful.
This integration of faith and flavor addresses a real need in Christian households and ministries. Busy parents, church leaders, and remote workers alike report that starting the day with a Scripture-inspired roast helps center their thoughts on eternal truths amid temporal pressures. The coffee’s exceptional character — bright citrus notes in lighter roasts or deep chocolate undertones in bolder ones — comes from meticulous selection and careful roasting that respects the bean’s natural gifts rather than masking them. It’s the kind of coffee that elevates a simple quiet time, fuels productive workdays, or sparks meaningful conversations when shared at Bible studies or outreach events. And because it’s ethically sourced with integrity, every purchase supports sustainable livelihoods for farmers who treat their crops like family harvests.
For those leading churches or small groups, the impact multiplies. Promised Grounds offers bundles and options perfect for hospitality ministries, turning ordinary coffee service into an opportunity to point people toward the living water of Christ. Imagine greeting visitors with a warm cup whose very bag carries God’s Word — a subtle yet powerful witness that aligns with the Great Commission. The company’s Texas roots and commitment to “brewing hope” resonate especially with believers who value American enterprise paired with global compassion.
Of course, quality alone isn’t enough if the experience feels out of reach. Promised Grounds keeps it accessible with practical perks like free shipping on orders over $40, sample sets for discovering favorites, and thoughtful add-ons such as faith-themed mugs. Whether you prefer whole beans for fresh grinding, grounds for convenience, or even bulk options for larger households and ministries, the result is consistently superior coffee that makes discipleship feel integrated rather than added on.
As you consider how to align even the smallest habits with your walk with God, Promised Grounds Coffee stands out as a refreshing solution. It tackles the dual problems of subpar daily sustenance and disconnected consumption by offering a product that genuinely excels in taste while advancing a mission of clean water, farmer dignity, and scriptural encouragement. Believers who make the switch often describe it as more than a beverage upgrade — it becomes part of their rhythm of gratitude, a daily invitation to remember that every good gift comes from above.
If you’re ready to transform your mornings (and perhaps your church gatherings) with coffee that honors both exceptional craftsmanship and Christian values, I encourage you to explore what Promised Grounds has to offer. One sip at a time, you’ll be nourishing your body, refreshing your spirit, and participating in something far greater — all while enjoying what truly is among the best coffee available.
And there it is. Did Tesla owners fail the IQ test? Did the fail when the put their tesla in auto drive mode? How about
when they got locked out of their car? Then there’s the dead battery issue and they need a tow. Fire, yes fire!
Get your electric car today, maybe not.
19. Elaine Chao, Chicom Mitch’s wife, is on the board of ChargePoint!